After months and months of resolve, I caved and opened a MySpace account in December. I did so because I was sick of "Googling" old friends to get in touch, but coming up empty-handed. Why I get the itch to make all these contacts is beyond me -- it likely creeps up when I'm feeling insecure about the strength of my "current" friendships, or some such nonsense.
There was an initial rush that came with the ability to contact dozens of people right at my fingertips. I sent out my first greetings, fishing for whatever replies I could get. Reading them was fun and brought a smile to my face. People with whom I hadn't spoken since high school *cough* years ago were right in front of me, telling me how they were. Crazy.
The fairy dust wore off quickly -- and not just because MySpace isn't my bag (the pages are far too busy and I'd much rather be cruising blogs). After a couple weeks as a MySpacer, I became very melancholy. Instead of being entertained by or interested in the adventures of my old buddies as captured in photos, all I saw were lives I was no longer a part of. And it felt like a punch in the gut.
I've always treasured my friendships, and taken it ultra-personally when they deteriorated. A MySpace buddy of mine sent out one of those famous "about you" surveys. One of the questions asked for an odd or little-known fact about me: "I lose friends at about the same rate as I make them," was my reply. Sounds pretty cynical, doesn't it? I know -- I was surprised by it myself. But it's fairly accurate, and more than a little frustrating for someone as "friendly" as I am. I hate it.
Sometimes it seems as if all the significant friendships I have will inevitably turn into MySpace icons ... except my family. It's so nice to have a supremely wonderful group of people in my family who are friends for life. And honestly, at the end of the day, between them and my husband, I don't know if there's much more I could ask for!
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