L-I-T-E-R-A-T-E

If nothing else (and I do mean NOTHING), poptart songstresses like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas can offer kids a lesson in spelling.

I know this because a newly purchased car has afforded me the luxury of SIX programmed radio stations -- two more than I used to have. This allowed me to find a pair of extra "favorites." Turns out out I don't like a lot of the stations around here, thus my "favorites" now include a couple of top-40 affiliates. A-w-e-s-o-m-e.

So today, when commercials were the only thing to be had on my ACTUAL favorite stations, I tuned in to some ridiculous song about diamonds and flying first-class and a massive shoe collection. The chorus went, "G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S." Am I the only one who thinks that's a fairly long word to be spelling out in a melodious way? Anyhow, the "artist" was Fergie, and it reminded me of that other ridiculous song by Gwen Stefani a couple years ago about holla-backing or some nonsense. The bridge of that one contained the inexplicable spelling of b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Please don't think I'm comparing Gwen to Fergie here (though both happen to be solo singers who've broken away from popular bands and have exceptionally nice gams). I actually get a kick out of Stefani as a person and think she has a boatload of talent. Fergie? No comment.

These singers teach kids a lot of things, though -- like how to dress scantily and run around a stage in high heels. But most of all, I like to think somewhere, some over-MTV-exposed grade schooler is taking a spelling test and saying to herself, "Does that have two Ns or one? Wait ... b-a-n-a-n-a-s ... thank you Gwen!" And three years later, when that same girl goes to buy her first pair of pierced earrings and is in search of an under-dressed material-girl role model, she'll remember "Glamorous" and F-e-r-g-i-e.