Since I've been married, I have really gotten into NFL football. For the first time in my life I truly enjoy watching games in their entirety. Naturally, my husband sees this as a big plus -- he can watch as many as three games on a Sunday and I won't protest a bit because it's just as much fun for me. I actually owe the enjoyment to him in the first place because he patiently waded through throngs of pesky (and often repetitive) questions over the past couple years, and thanks to him I understand the game.
There inevitably comes a point in every game, however, where he must wish I was off loll-y-gagging like in the old days. It happens toward the end of said game, usually when a timeout is called. Water boys/men trudge out with their bottles and proceed to pour water down players' throats as I recite my version of the verbal exchange...
Player: (huff & puff) "I'm so tired. Can you just lift the bottle up to my face?"
Water boy: "OK, little guy, open your mouth."
Player: "Ya, can you squeeze the bottle for me so the water goes right in?"
Water boy: "Sure thing."
Player: "That's it. Oh, are you a life saver! If I have to lift my arm in a drinking motion one more time..."
Really? 300-pound men are falling on your body while you grab at their jerseys with all your might, but drinking out of a water bottle -- that's just too much? Well, then, it's sure a good thing your career doesn't depend on being strong and agile.
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6 comments:
absolutely... the funny thing about this absurdity is that in college, this does not happen. I played wide receiver for The University of Tulsa (who just put up 63 pts on Bowling Green!!) and never once did a trainer lift and squeeze water into my mouth.
What happens in the transition from college to the pro's? Now that they actually get paid millions of dollars, certain eccentrices are acquired? It's like getting fanned by palm tree branches and being fed grapes, by a bunch of beautiful women, yes its fun to dream about, but seriously let me put my own damn grapes in my own damn mouth!
Ok, I'm done.
This is the first time I've ever heard anyone talk about this, and you're so spot-on funny!
You are a greater wife than I. I am so not into football.
But, my darling husband, is thoroughly addicted to Project Runway AND Top Chef. He is like the male you. You will both receive your crowns in glory.
btw, your reply to Linda's Darwin post made me laugh out loud.
hilarious...and yet so very sad.
Sam. Have we met? Dude. That is quite a rant. And I don't understand a word of it.
K
So if you've been reading girlfriday, you know that I watched the Colts lose on Sunday.
And I know what you're talking about now Mz. Lane. And Sam
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