My husband and I got into the strangest "discussion" awhile back. It was one of those where you start off on one thing and end up on another, inconsequential topic that puts someone on the defensive. The issue at hand was whether I would even want high-quality, expensive shoes when all I buy are Payless fare (not that there's anything wrong with that).I like shoes just fine, but a Carrie Bradshaw I am not. I certainly don't display my shoes in a place of honor (you all remember my "ode to piles"). But one needs shoes to tromp about outside and keep one's toes warm, so shoes are necessary above all. The trouble comes when I have to budget for a new pair and can't justify paying a half-month's spending money on them. Yes, I'm one of those people who raise their eyebrows at a price tag of more than $15 or $20. And because I rarely go shoe shopping, I get so obsessed with finding the one perfectly versatile pair, that I drive myself crazy and leave the store empty-handed.
Quality is more important than quantity -- it's not like I have that mixed up. The number of shoes I own wouldn't turn anyone's head. But I run into a wall when it comes to buying shoes.
This is where the conversation took us, harmlessly enough. But for some reason I started acting upset, even wounded. It's not that what my husband pointed out wasn't painfully obvious. I just suddenly became very melancholy at the prospect of never needing "good" shoes again.
The one career-oriented goal I had seems like an old faded picture. And the fanciest place I go is to church. Not that I'm complaining; I love being a mom and spending the bulk of every day in a thick pair of socks. I'm simply looking at my life now and squinting down the road ahead, trying to imagine an occasion for which I'd need a really good pair of shoes -- except for perhaps sneakers (my go-to footwear for running errands).
Will I never need an excellent pair of sleek, black pumps again? Will I venture into some outing that requires tough, waterproof sandals? Does it matter?
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I found it wasn't easy letting go of the "what was" -- it felt like I was being stripped of "myself" regardless of my new "being" as a Mom. Now 8 years in, (and mostly finished with some of the messier years), I feel I have undergone a "firing" and find my core "self" shines much more brightly than before. Suffices to say -- there can be room for the "sleek black pumps" if they survive the fire.
ditto - I think the early years of motherhood are the toughest on the ego and the shoe collection. I have a closet full of Ann Taylor suits and Nine West kitten heels that never see light nor night. I go in a pet them when Hunter is asleep and dream of a day when I again can wear them and have a job to wear them too. Sure, I love being a mom but it takes time to find the balance.
FYI - at least splurge on some UGGs or some nice sneakers --- your feet do need to be taken care of.
The proverbial shoe dilemma. My husband does not understand shoes. My advice: buy yourself something nice :) pearl necklace? Cute skirt... and wear it to church anyway.
Love shoe shopping! And have added a new pair to my collection of shoes through Boscovs.
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