After months and months of resolve, I caved and opened a MySpace account in December. I did so because I was sick of "Googling" old friends to get in touch, but coming up empty-handed. Why I get the itch to make all these contacts is beyond me -- it likely creeps up when I'm feeling insecure about the strength of my "current" friendships, or some such nonsense.

There was an initial rush that came with the ability to contact dozens of people right at my fingertips. I sent out my first greetings, fishing for whatever replies I could get. Reading them was fun and brought a smile to my face. People with whom I hadn't spoken since high school *cough* years ago were right in front of me, telling me how they were. Crazy.

The fairy dust wore off quickly -- and not just because MySpace isn't my bag (the pages are far too busy and I'd much rather be cruising blogs). After a couple weeks as a MySpacer, I became very melancholy. Instead of being entertained by or interested in the adventures of my old buddies as captured in photos, all I saw were lives I was no longer a part of. And it felt like a punch in the gut.

I've always treasured my friendships, and taken it ultra-personally when they deteriorated. A MySpace buddy of mine sent out one of those famous "about you" surveys. One of the questions asked for an odd or little-known fact about me: "I lose friends at about the same rate as I make them," was my reply. Sounds pretty cynical, doesn't it? I know -- I was surprised by it myself. But it's fairly accurate, and more than a little frustrating for someone as "friendly" as I am. I hate it.

Sometimes it seems as if all the significant friendships I have will inevitably turn into MySpace icons ... except my family. It's so nice to have a supremely wonderful group of people in my family who are friends for life. And honestly, at the end of the day, between them and my husband, I don't know if there's much more I could ask for!


SerineKat said...

MySpace sucks. I'm glad to hear that you've left it's evil grasp. I too have many 'old' friends gathering on it for talk of the good old times.
Your post is two fold.
1. MySpace as a way of keeping contacts really sucks. It's like a bathroom stall at a junior high school. Because of that nature of the service you are likely to feel left out or left behind is that is not your bag.
2. People Change. Friends come and go and sometimes if they have faded into the background that's what is meant to be. You can't go back you can only embrace now and the future.

Lois E. Lane said...

Wise words, lady! Thanks for sharing your insight...

SerineKat said...

I should change my handle to Ort-Yoda. Or Katyoda... or something else that is a ridiculous homage to Star Wars.

Ibid said...

Joy, I'm really glad you are on the net (blogging) because I feel like I do get to keep in touch with you this way. Globalization shrinks the planet, and everyone is so busy with their shrunken days that much more than click click takes too much time. Cynical, but true, and even this little bit is better than nothing.

girlfriday said...

This is a really touching post. There is a lot here.

Why do friendships die? And what compels us to hold onto them? We're not creatures of time for one thing. Time is so uncomfortable. Things should last and they don't and it bothers us.

Recognize what is cyncical and what is natural and don't beat yourself up too much. She's right: embrace the future, do what you can. But don't feel bad about craving the good things of the past.

Some day, everything will be new. And that means, it will be ageless.

Everyday Anne said...

Hey you... you're post moved me. I know the feeling of wanting to hold on to relationships. What is that song by Sonny and Cher? I got you babe... or something like it. So glad that we can be friends beyond Myspace ;)