Some Enchanted Evening

I have a son.

Wow...that's an amazing sentence to type. Well I do and he is just the best thing ever. Seriously, sliced bread has nothing on this little guy. Childbirth is a deeply personal experience, so I wont be posting the thousands of little details that made it so extraordinary for me. But strangely enough, the song that comes to my head when I think of those first few moments my baby was drawing breath is "Some Enchanted Evening" from the musical "South Pacific."

You see, our little bundle was born in the early evening hours. Labor was long and the moment they set his slippery body on my belly is a bit of a blur (the last part happens very fast, as you mothers can attest to). But after they took him away to the far corner of the room to clean him up and check his vitals, I looked over in his direction and strained to sneak a peak between all the nurses' bodies.

And suddenly, like I was part of some old romantic story, everything around me went dark -- except the path of my sight to his, in which there was a glow. He was looking at me as I was looking at him.

I know, I know. Say what you will about infants not being able to focus their eyes that far in front of them. But we looked at each each other. His eyes were so wide, so gorgeous, so intense. I can't imagine ever forgetting that moment.

Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger,
you may see a stranger
Across a crowded room
And somehow you know,
You know even then
That somewhere you'll see [him]
Again and again.

Some enchanted evening
Someone may be laughin',
You may hear [him] laughin'
Across a crowded room
And night after night,
As strange as it seems
The sound of [his] laughter
Will sing in your dreams.

Who can explain it?
Who can tell you why?
Fools give you reasons,
Wise men never try.

Morning has broken...

I will miss feeling the tiny tidal wave inside my belly

I won't miss singing into the ears of someone I can't see

I will miss (believe it or not) my belly as community property

I won't miss end-of-term doctor "exams"

I will miss unsolicited back and foot rubs

I won't miss feeling like a watched pot

And I can't wait

A Brave, Un-Special World

I saw a TV ad for the Special Olympics a few weeks back and it really made an impression on me -- partly because it was a great commercial and partly because I'm pregnant.

You see, I heard about a statistic, which was verified in this New York Times article. According to the May 2007 story, 90% of women who are told their child has Down syndrome choose to terminate their pregnancies.

It's honestly hard for me to think of anything I've read recently that's more disturbing and utterly horrendous than that. I don't like abortion as it is, but throwing away a human life over Down syndrome? Really? In this age of conservationism, there is nothing more wasteful.

I know everyone is different and has a different world view, but as a mother in waiting it's difficult to imagine what on earth I could find out about my unborn child that would make me not want him or her. That statistic makes me want to grab these women by the collar and say, "This is your child! THIS IS YOUR CHILD. If you're willing and ready to have one, does it matter how well it fits your idea of perfection? Exactly how conditional is your love?"

I defy these women to look someone else's Down child in the eyes and tell him he's taken away from, not added to, his parents' quality of life.

Some years down the road, there will be no more need for a Special Olympics -- not because we've eradicated birth defects, but because we in our infinite wisdom have decided these lives aren't worth living. God have mercy on us.

I know this post is super far on the serious side and emotionally charged, but you're dealing with a very pregnant lady, so I make no apologies. By the way, here's the ad: